My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
