Don't you send me to vm
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
