i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize