What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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