they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
