great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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