its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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