Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize