I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
