so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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