Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize