They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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