Me too!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
