i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
