You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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