I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
