We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
