Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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