We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
