So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
