Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
