I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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