You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
