WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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