In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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