Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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