I'm jealous of your bromance
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize