wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
