my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize