so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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