Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize