Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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