I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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