i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
