Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power