Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
