i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS