first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants