I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts