he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
