yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
