Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
