found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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