you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
