of course. lets lasso hookers.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
