Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
