hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We don't watch enough power rangers
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
