I want to stick my p in your. b.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
