Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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