Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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