well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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