I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
