He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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