My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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