Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dicks are not precious.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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