we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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