Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
