i can't believe i had my finger in that
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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