Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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