Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
