He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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