Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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