perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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