if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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