you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
